So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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