I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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