wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
