This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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