We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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