we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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