i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
