I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
