My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Jerry, you need to find god
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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