i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There's always time for handjobs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got inside last night via doggy door
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
