Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
