just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize