The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Randomize
