wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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