Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
