Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
