After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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