Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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