Small penises have feelings too.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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