they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
