Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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