I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
