In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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