i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
