I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am mentally ready for anal.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
