My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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