When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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