My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
