i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
