There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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