God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
BRING THE BAGELS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
