I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
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Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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