used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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