The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
