You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
