Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't deserve a penis
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
