Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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