I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
