i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize