Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
