no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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