How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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