I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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