3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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