margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
