You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
