Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
