I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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