i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
tell me about the fingering
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