I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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