She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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