I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
