Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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