You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
