cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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