just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
