She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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