Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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