i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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