I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
4 words: hood of his car
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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